Writes: MILKICA MILOJEVIC

Thirteen years old Kosta Miljkovic from Banja Luka is an excellent boy who is into acting, glass drawing, studying English. Still, at the end of the school year he will not accompany his peers to final excursion. Kosta has no father, and his mother, who is 58, an unemployed teacher, has no money to pay for his trip, although she would like that more than anything in the world.

Dragica Miljkovic devoted her whole life to her only son. Days and nights, she works on her sewing-machine, to provide home and bread, books and clothes. Still she is alone, has no support of any kind and simply cannot provide for basic life necessities.

Kosta is just one of a few thousands of children who live with a self-supported parent in BiH. The exact number of these children is undefined. Self-supported parents and their children are registered in no social service institution. No law defines their status. There is no Family law nor Social protection Law in neither BiH Federation nor RS; the category of self-supported parents does not exist. There is no fund to support them.

"Basically, no rights are provided for self-supported parents," thinks Mirsada Poturkovic, director of Social Centre in Canton Sarajevo. "When a self-supported family needs social assistance and care, then it will employ all the rights within the social programs as all other socially imperilled citizens. Whatsoever, there is no agreement between any experts or/and government authorities to define a self-supported parent."

In public, all fathers and mothers, who live alone, without a support of the other parent to provide and educate the child, are considered to be self-supported parents. Most social workers in BiH regard them as divorced parents who take care of a child, which means that they are not considered to be nor a widower or a widow after the death of a marital partner. They cannot have a status of self-supported parents since, simply said "a child has both parents who do not live together, or at least has the income left by the late parent in heritage." According to this "calculation" self-supported parents are only out-of-wedlock mothers who have not asked their partner to "recognize" its paternity.

In accordance with rather this rigid model, Kosta‘s mother is definitely a self-supported parent, still she gained no benefits from that.

"I consciously chose the fate of a self-supported mother, although 14 years ago, in amidst of a war, it was not easy to make such a decision. Even my nearest of kin rejected me and judged for giving a birth to a "bastard ". Yet a child wish was stronger than all the prejudices ", says Dragica. "What hurts the most is that the society stigmatizes children of self-supported mothers, my son as well, even nowadays whereas legislative equality is just another letter on a paper."

For years Dragica and her son have been living without any constant income. The company Dragica worked for went bankrupt and she became unemployed. She does not fulfil the criteria for a pension since she is supposed to work for three years more to obtain it. She supports herself and her son sewing at home. She is utterly disappointed in state institutions.

"When I approached the Social Centre for assistance, Vesna Sladojevic literally told me: "You mothers, what do you want? You give birth to children and then come to us to express grief." For the last three years I was given 58 KM in C-market coupons, yet more often only social assistance decision on paper which has never arrived since there is not enough money. For all these years no one has come to my house to see how my son and I live," says Dragica Miljkovic.

Dragica agrees that status of a self-supported parent is to be defined as soon as possible by the Family law whereas all the children born during the war, no matter of the family circumstances, deserve some kind of social assistance.

Together in hard times

Self-supported parents in region of Banja Luka recognized their mutual issues and interests, decided to organize themselves, provide each other assistance and fight together for their status in the society. That is how the NGO "Our children" was founded with its centre in Banja Luka. It gathers self-supported parents of RS capital and neighbouring municipalities. Members of this association are mothers and fathers who take care of their children on their own: widowers, widows, divorced parents and unmarried mothers. The presidents of NGO "Our children" is  Banja Luka‘s well-known lawyer, until recently a judge, Rada Vjestica. Due to her husband's hard disease she stayed alone with three children. Her sons were born at the same day, as triple babies which practically means that their mother has to provide everything "in threesome", be it a candy or a jacket or a toy. Yet she does not complain except for the injustice.

"Personally I do not have material issues, at least not the ones most our members are dealing with, who are mainly unemployed, poor and residentially unsecured. This does not mean, whatsoever, that my children, who are growing up without their father, should not have lawfully regulated status, as well. Worldwide, self-supported parents have many privileges, still our country does not regulate even their right on kindergarten discount", says Rada Vjestica.

Discounts in a kindergarten, due to self-supported parents undefined status, varies among different institutions and often depends on the good will of local authorities which give grant-in-aid to support the work of preschool institutions.

"Our kindergarten gives a discount only to the children of dead war participants and of the hardest cases of military invalids. It will be so until Banja Luka Town Assembly decides differently", explains Milos Kesic from Banja Luka‘s Centre for preschool education.

Special problem with Banja Luka‘s kindergartens is that, although their working hours end at 6 p.m., female teachers, following the old custom, expect parents to pick up their children around 3 p.m. When the child has both parents and popular "granny service" assistance, this can function. Self-supported parents do not have means for such a luxury.

"For most out of 100 members of Self-supported parents Association "Stela" from Gradiska, kindergarten is a daydream luxury. Our members are mostly unemployed tenants. We help each other, or we get one-shot aid from municipal authorities and then we intervene in extreme cases of assistance, for example when someone is in need of firewood or medical treatment. Still, employment of our members is of the crucial importance," says Milena Batar, president of the association "Stela ".

Requests for Alimony Fund

While the association "Stela" functions mostly like a solidarity group, NGO "Our children" goes one step farther. This NGO of self-supported parents negotiates law changes, to define status of self-supported parents and rights of their children. They also negotiate the establishment of Alimony Fund following western countries examples.

Authorities in Republic of Srpska, which gladly use every opportunity, especially on election eve, to negotiate the increase of birth-rate and rights of children, admit that self-supported parents are rudely neglected.

"This category of citizens necessitates attention and assistance which till now, I have to admit, has not been given." says Mirko Banjac, director of RS Pedagogical-Educational Body, who also grew up as a child of a self-supported parent.

"These families are not registered in RS, whereas self-support as a term has not yet been defined. That is why, the Ministry will, cooperating with these parents' associations, work on inclusion of this category into legislation, so self-supported parents could employ their rights ", promises RS Social protection Ministry Assistant, Ljubo Lepir.

On completion of a divorce procedure in BiH, in a majority of cases the child is trusted to mother whereas father is obliged to pay alimony. Unfortunately, there are only few fine examples of divorced fathers devotedly taking care of their children. Many fathers avoid alimony paying in so many different very fantastic ways: they forge miserable incomes to determine even more miserable amount of monthly giving for children, they change the place of residence, run away or simple reject to pay alimony. Mothers, under the pressure of immense problems, often have neither money nor time nor nerves or state instruments to enforce alimony payment.

In Bosnia and Herzegovina there are no comprehensive researches on position of this part of population nor government's good will to help them. In entities there are no signs of alimony fund possible establishment.  

BiH Federation Family law states that in case of parental obligatory alimony payment not being employed for longer than 3 months, a Tutorial body is obligated to reinsure if child's well being is imperilled, and if it is, then the Body is to "undertake measures which will secure temporary sustenance until the sustenance payer resumes the obligatory alimony payment." However, it does not state which budget item is to supply the money for "temporal sustenance" which is why practically, this article of law is another letter on a paper. Still the state has already shown its attitude towards the issue regulating that for employment of BiH Federation Family law "no additional means are needed". In BiH Federation the status of self-supported parents and their children is additionally complicated with the fact that Social Care is mostly Cantonal governments' jurisdiction, which gives the self-supported families, in more well-off cantons - Sarajevo's or Tuzla's canton - different position than to their fellow sufferers in Cazin or Grahovo. Still in real live these differences are minute since, at best, privileges are downsized on subvention for kindergarten payment and similar rather small discounts. Cantonal differences in Social Care standards mostly consist of passing on the responsibility from one body to another and self supporting parent unsuccessful door-knocks in search of legal assistance and protection.     

Jurisdiction of BiH Federation Government is sized down to instrumentality and International Conventions references in cases when a parent who lives abroad avoids alimony payment. Yet, how successfully this small portion of legislative responsibility is employed by authorized Ministries is best illustrated by the fact that, in about thousand of similar cases only "a small percentage of parental obligatory alimony is paid".

Unmarried mothers' torment

One of the rare categories of self-supported parents in BiH, about whom there are only some pieces of information, are unmarried mothers in RS, who decided to be unmarried parents. Related to the information of RS Statistic Institute, every year in Srpska few thousands illegitimate children are born. Precisely, 10 to 15 per cent of the newborn children in the world are brought by the unmarried mothers. The truth is, that 2/3 of those children are born out of wedlock which still has all the attributes of a traditional family. Still, every third illegitimate child is solitary mother's concern.

Decision to give birth without getting married is mostly made by women in larger towns: Banja Luka, Trebinje, Prijedor and Doboj. Interestingly enough these cases are minor. A survey shows that attitude of a community towards the unmarried mothers, especially in urban environments, is slowly but safely changing. Regarding the statements of examinees, 67 per cent of unmarried mothers have unreserved acceptance and support of their parents, in 71 per cent they are accepted by their friends, and in 57 per cent of cases, even by their neighbours.

The experts say that unmarried mothers' parents' support is of a decisive importance in this Don Quixote-motherhood-undertaking, when mothers cannot count on child's father support especially not on the support of an institution. The example of Banja Luka‘s actress Radenka Seva, a self-supported mother of a nine year old boy confirms this.  

"I still live with my parents who have been very happy from the very moment I decided to become a mother. They support me financially, they are always around to take care of my son, and look after him, otherwise I would not succeed, since my profession demands often trips and my being away from home late in the evening as well", says Radenka.

Although there are more cases like Radenka's, they are still exceptions, which confirm the rule that illegitimate children are born due to the combination of unhappy circumstances. Only 7 per cent of unmarried mothers in RS consciously chose parentage without marriage. In most cases illegitimate child is born after the future mother was abandoned by her boyfriend, the father of the child, and that is often, in a far advanced pregnancy, when it is too late for a different decision. Misunderstood, unprovided and unaccepted, those mothers quit on their children unwillingly giving them to adoption.

"In such cases Social Centre can only accommodate the baby temporarily in a Children's Home or a foster family, until mother completes her education or finds a job. During that period social workers and psychologists talk to mother's parents, who often, when the first shock passes, accept the grandchild. Mother's behaviour is observed as well: if she shows interest for the child, or if she tries to be financially independent. If she continues to "live like a girl", not trying to provide home for her child, adoption is still the best solution.", says retired psychologist Koviljka Sevo, who worked all life on such cases in a tutorship body of Banja Luka's Social Centre.

Danilo Ponjarac, director of Home for unprovided children "Rada Vranjesevic" in Banja Luka, has also seen many fates of unmarried and rejected young mothers during his working years. Mothers simply show up in front of the door of the Home in advanced pregnancy or with a just-born-baby in their arms. They are jobless, have no money or home, no nappies nor mouthful of food or hope that it will change.

"I suggested a Mothers' Home to be established in RS where self-supported mothers would stay with their babies for three months at least, before bringing the final decision. That way, some chance would be given so the mothers could find some solution and keep their children", says Ponjarac.   

Mother's Home is established in neither Republic of Srpska nor in Federation BiH, because the state has no money for that purpose. Even though she is unemployed and rejected, has no home, a self-supported mother, only in some cases, can count on minimal social aid. Even when the additional aid for children is in question, mothers have no privileges. The additional aid for children, which is only few tens of KM in RS, is only given to the second, third or fourth child in poor families without being considered if both or only one parent takes care of them.

The officials in Federation BiH, their colleagues in RS are probably of the similar opinion, affirm that laws guaranty that" no one can stay hungry, unprovided and unburied". If the state perhaps gives guaranty for everyone's dignified end, then the beginning of life depends only on parents though they may be self-supported and poor.

A survey of RS Public fund for protection of children done by M.A. Jovanka Vukovic, shows that majority of self-supported mothers do not have their own apartment, whereas the income per household member is smaller than 50 KM in a  month. Majority of these mothers do not drive a car, let us say do not have a freezer. Almost half of self-supported mothers do not even have washing machine.